Now that your on fire

I don't know if it's because it's 11 pm. I don't know if it's because i've not had a day off in 15 days. I don't know if it's because i worked 16 hours today, 18 yesterday, and 8 or 9 the day before that. I don't know if it's because i haven't looked inside my bible since i don't remember when. actully, my bible has been in my bag since i went to OCC the last time. I don't know which one or combination did it, but i'm tired, stressed, and ready to give up.

Isn't it funny how the one thing that motivates me to do anything is the one thing that causes me the most problems? Money. I hate Money. I wish i could work for just Food and Tuition. But then theres a car, then gas, then insurance, then WHATEVER!! And so, in order to "make up the slack", i work 58 hours in a week. pretty sure i want to eat a bullet right now just from my feet pain. and no days off until church camp.

I don't understand how i can hate hypocrisy, lying, cheating, and deception SO much, and yet turn around and do those very things.

Ok. that's it. I'm going to bed.

And no, i'm not reading my bible tonight either.