Step inside my Office

It's wild what can happen in a year! I started this blog a year ago tomorrow and it's really cool to watch how my thoughts have been throughout the time!

***

I sit here in my dormroom, and I'm drawing comparisons from it to my life. My desk, My workplace, is covered in clutter from a few bouts of lots of use, and lots of time of no use. I of course spend no time cleaning my Workplace unless there is Someone coming in such as Mom, or the girls for Open House.

My Bed is not made, and it doesn't even have pillows since i forgot them back home. I have only a (QT) Towel to rest my head on. The bolster behind it is where I keep the Items i wish i used more often, but hardly do: Some school books, sunflower seeds, batteries for my guitar pedal, and my "g-pa" hat. The only items on the bolster that see frequent use are my printer and my Dream Journal. Hidden away inside the Bolster is all my foodstuffs and my RPG "secrets".

My shelving has many books on it, most of whish i have either never cracked, or read and then discarded them to thier eternity on the shelf. Little used Supplies and Items rest on the highest shelves, with Awards from forgotten times in High School Line the Front. Sticky notes filled with Short-term motivatation from weeks long gone hang on the shelving.

My floor of course has a few pieces of Dirty Laundry, along with Items used recently that were not put away. My Trashcan would be full had I not emptied it yesterday, and my hamper sits abandoned outside of the closet, its home of the past.

The closet itself is nearly barren. There are empty hangers, a stained shleving, and my work clothes for IHOP. There are also testaments to my Lethargy: Unfolded clothes, an air mattress i borrowed from my aunt this summer, and a cup full of money to give to the business office for school.

Then of course, across the invisible chasm of silence, sits Nick, my roomate. I have lived with this man all semester. I've met his closest friends, and he's met mine. And yet, we've had probobly less than 10 conversations this entire year, most of them involving questions like, "you want a drink?" "can u grab the trash?", or "can I turn out the light?". A man with his own life, his own story, his own part of the grand history of Grace... And I don't know him. Of EVERYBODY on this campus, I should know him. but he's a stranger to me.

Things are gonna be different, starting today. Alot of other things are too.

They Have Too.

I'm Bringing Hefty Back

I'm bringin Hefty Back, (yeah)
those tummy tuckers don't know how to act, (yeah)
A twinky in each hand is where its at, (yeah)
and All muh boys know who they callin Phat (yeah)

Skinny Babe,
You see these steaks well baby i'm thier slave,
I'll let you hold bones from the ones I ate,
and then i'll have free hands for pie and cake.

Come here girl
(go 'head and eat it)
Come to the fridge
(go 'head and eat it)
Make me some meat
(go 'head and eat it)
Pack it with heat
(go 'head and eat it)

Getcha hefty on
(go 'head and eat it)
Getcha hefty on
(go 'head and eat it)
Getcha hefty on
(go 'head and eat it)
Getcha hefty on
(go 'head and eat it)

Confusion

So many reasons to Stay...

• IHOP is my Job during the school year


• I can be here with a few friends


• I can be on my own here away from home


• My Church is closer to here than home


• My Parents House is not my home anymore(just feels wierd)


• Quiktrip and I are no longer on the same page
  

So many Reasons to Go home

• There are 4 weeks to break, thats a long time to be gone from home.


• Quiktrip is a good Job


• I have Old friends at home, many of whom I have not seen in long whiles


• I'm safe at home.

I don't know what to do....

The Apple Tree

I was walking through the Forest
I came upon an apple tree
I looked upon the highest branches
And in delight I did see
The most gorgeous looking apple
I do believe I’ve ever seen
I knew right then I wanted that apple
But it was at the top of the tree!

And so at once I started Climbin’
Higher n’ Higher up the tree
Bout 2/3rds up I got real tired
And said that’s good enough for me
And I looked at the other apples
Even though they weren’t as good
And then when I returned to climbing
I missed the place I’d aimed my foot

I fell out of the tree and too the ground
When I ‘came too’ I looked up
There at the top still was my apple
Telling me to ‘give it up’
As I climbed she pleaded with me
Sayin’ that I might prefer some pears
I fired back ‘no I like apples
And you’re the best apple anywhere’

All this talk of pears and apples
Really is just a metaphor
For the way I feel about you
And the mistakes I’ve made before
I wouldn’t let you try to love me
And my shame is greater still
For took you for granted
And around you I wasn’t real

I promised you I’d write a song for you
Just before I said I’d never lie
And so my darling let me tell you
What I’m feeling deep down inside
You may not think we go together
You may think we belong apart
But babe I know we’d last forever
I know it deep down in my heart

But girl I will not take you anywhere
If you decide you don’t want me
But I’ll no longer chase an apple
Or treat you like some dumb trophy
And so i'm sorry for the mess i've made
But through my falls I’ve learned a lot
See now I’m looking for a best friend
And girl you’re the best I got

Independence Day

My Home is no longer my home. It is my Parents house. I can't stand being at home for more than 3 days or so. I'm really worried about this Christmas Break, spending that much time at home. I really want to stay in Joplin for break. In fact, I just might. I asked David Conrad if I could stay at his place, and he said more than likely. I'll have to look it over, and talk to my parents and such, but I really want to do it.

I'm so tired of 'floating' at home. I wanted to see them, I was homesick, But a whole week was just too much. This one week was terrible. I can't Imagine a whole month! I love My family, but I don't belong in the same house as them anymore. I am my own person. I can't go home every other weekend, and I can't stay in 'someone else's house' for an entire month. I need to be independent, however I can.

One person

I find it Absolutley amazing how much one business can change with the removal of one man.

Quantum Physics

Since i write a Review of Twilight, I Figured I might as weel do the new Bond: Quantum of Solace.

The movie was Full of Action in the typical Bond sense, and had many scenes including a car chase, several gunfights, and even a rooftop chase. While havig a Decent plot and plenty of Action, the Movie moved very fast and very slow at times. during the action scenes, the camera changes every second most of the time and the viewer gets lost in the panorama of stimili. During other scenes, the movies seems to advance so slowly that the movie becomes almost uninteresting.

As a Bond fan, i was very disappointed with this bond. His "sense of Style" and Suave seems lost in this movie. He wears a suit for less than half the movie, and hardly ever carries the signature "playboy" air about him. While he still manages to Bed one woman in the Film, he is seen less as a womanizer and more as a person in this film. However, You should Re-watch Casin Royale before you watch this one or you'll be lost on some of the plot elements.

In Short, The movie Was overall very well, but confusing at points. I give it an 8 out of 10

Can you be overcautious?Is there a point that you leave the realm of wisdom and re-enter the realm of folly through the door of reason and caution?

Can you actully plan to "just have fun"?

I wonder if you can get thoughts surgiclly removed...

19 going on 20

I was watching 13 going on 30 today with my sister. Believe it or not, I enjoyed the movie the first time i saw it, and even more this time. Its such a funny movie with a complicated but yet innocent romance in the middle. However, it really made me think.

If I woke up tommorow to find I was thirty, based on the choices I have made now, would I be happy? What about my Job? Would I be surprised? Would I be impressed? Disapointed?

What about role models? Friends? my Wife? would I have a relationship with my parents? what about kids? My life could be alot of fun, or alot of suck.

And it's all based on choices I make right now.

Apples

I love apples. The flavor, the texture, I even like the skin. And when they come right out of the fridge, and they just barely start to condescate, thats gorgeous.

Band Break-up

He walks in at 11:30 at night, makes eye contact with me, then goes up to bed. I just don't understand people sometimes.

So much for rockband.

The Twilight Zone

So I wound up being the transportation for my brother and abunch of his (girl)friends to go see twilight. I got a free movie out of the deal so I figured why not. I now am going to write a review of the movie as requested of a friend of mine. Don't worry, I will include no spoilers (but if you've read the book i don't think it matters).

Well, to start things on a positive note, the CG effects were actully pretty good, for being a low budget movie. As an amateur film-maker, I know how some of the effects were made, and I applaud the producers for thier creativity with limited resources. Although the sound was sometimes a little behind the visuals, It was a very enveloping experiance whenever a CG heavy scene came along. Even without the CG, the chosen locales and Lighting were very visually stimulating.

Less than stimulating however was the dialougue. Many lines seemed "stuffed in there" like they had to be in the movie somewhere. Several lines seemed "forced" by the actors, and didn't seem to have the right (if any) emotion behind them. At some points in the movie, the two leading actors simply listened to each other breathe. Now, I understand that couples actully do this on occasion, but you don't put it (at least not minutes on end of it) into the movie. And while the story was romantic, because of the "dragged out" length of the film it loses its vibrance. There was never any emotion stirred within watching this film.

Of the actors themselves, I thoroughlly enjoyed the actors chosen for the parts, with the exception of edward. Bella was cute and vibrant, though she seemed to have the same look on her face the whole movie(a sort of depressed confusion). Her father was a character and was probobly my favorite Person in the movie. Edwards family was also very intuitive, each with their own personality (seemingly more personality than the leading characters).

Edward however, never seemed to come out of the haze that surrounds his character. He is supposed to be mysterious, but it seems as soon as his personality starts to form in the viewers mind, he does something out of character. You never really learn anything about Edward during the movie.

In summary, the Movie was visually stimulating, but lacking in true Story development. I give the Movie, a 5 out of 10.

Some things never change

I've been back at QT for 2 days, and i'm already getting sucked in. I've been reminded constantly how much more money i'd be making to be an Assistant Manager or even just a clerk trainer. I'm even tempted by a potential scholorship oppurtunity.

*sigh*

Gimme a book and i'll do my best to overcome.

Home away from Home

So, of all the people I know, I'm the last person i ever expected to get homesick. But here I am, at home, and there's nowhere else I think I'd rather be. I've missed the little things mostly:

• My shower - LOVE IT!!
• The Fan in my room
• the couch's in our living room.
• The feel of our upstairs carpet on cold mornings
• Mom watching a romance movie on the Hallmark channel
• the sound of Ryan's Rap from upstairs.
• the condescending looks from Nacho - I seriously enjoy his utter contempt for others!

In addition, many things have changed.

• We have a dog now...an Indoor Dog...ugh...
• Grant lives in my room for now
• they black-topped the road to our house
• I have a new manager at QT (why yes, i am blogging about QT! lol)

I've these people and places. I know I can't stay here though, even though I Love and do miss it. It's kind've wild to wonder, is this my last Holiday Season to live at home? Do I have one more? What about this Summer? Will I be at home?

*Sigh* Life is SO much different now...