There is so much going through my head right now. I have so many plans, fears, expectations, dreads, hopes, worries...And I need to drop them.
Good Things: I'm moving up to Joplin on the 28th of July! I have a Job at Ihop. I'm going to Mexico this Saturday. I'm Preaching at My Church the 27th. I'm FINALLY Going Back to School!
Bad Things: There's hard things, like my parents telling me i'm going to fail. My dad doesn't thnk i've shown any change at all, and doesn't think i have the self-disipline to do what i need to succeed. I don't know how i'm going to pay for school. And then, of course, I heard possibly the best news i'd ever heard, built up expectations and hopes over the next 30 hours, then got a "Just Kidding" from the source. I don't even understand why.
But regardless, life continues. Maybe my dad is right. Maybe i'm gonna fail. Maybe I won't be able to pay for school. Maybe I'll lose the (quite possiblly) best friend i've ever had. But if i do, God is still in control. If i fall in my typical fashion, i'll land face first into a huge pile of mud. but if i do, i will not rush to get up. i will take a moment, let the coolness of the mud refresh me. i will "be still and know that HE is God". Then i will get up, and give it another go.
I can't go through life plagued by "what ifs" and worries and fears. I will always have those, but i will trust that God knows best. I think of David, after his sin with Bathsheba. God told him his Son would die as punishment. The child then grew ill. David tore his clothes, wept, fasted, and prayed. He pleaded, begged, and groveled to the Lord that he might change his mind and let the child live. Then the child died.
But here is what's cool. as Soon as the attendant told David the child had died, he got up, washed himself, and put on new clothes. Then he went and had dinner. Even though He had Emotionally Spent himself pleading with God for something, When God said no, he was Ok with that. He trusted God's will, plan, and timing.
So whatever your doing Inside of me,
It feels like chaos but I believe
Your up to Something Bigger than Me
Larger than Life Something Heavenly
Time to Face up Clean this Old House
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That i've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
6 years ago
1 comment:
What is success? Money, fame, big house, fast cars, lots of friends...not really. That's the world's definition of success. Success is following God's plan for your life. The plan He made just for you before He formed you. You are awesome in His sight. He knows the pain you feel from rejection, He knows your fears of the unknown, He knows the questions you have, and He has the answers. It's wise to listen to Godly counsel, but don't let others discourage you from doing what God has called you to do. Sometimes parents don't know how to voice their fears and anxiety of seperation other than plant the seed of doubt and failure in their children. God will provide. If it takes 10 years to go to school, then praise God because He holds time in His hand. May God encourage you, give you peace, and provide for all your needs. Measure your success by God's Word and not by the definition of mankind.
Post a Comment