Weddings

I'm going to a wedding today. Weddings are funny things. Two people, Two very different people, coming together and making a commitment that no matter what happens, they will love and serve each other. Forever. Thats one of the most unsafe, impractical things I've ever heard of.

So why do people do it? Sex? I'm sure at some level. It is the only way a moral Christian will ever experiance human sexuality. But that's a pretty weak and superficial reason to trade for that commitment.

Fear of Lonliness? I think we're closer, but not quite there. But it does seem great to imagine someone who will always be there with you. Who you never have to say goodnight too. Someone who knows you, and I mean KNOWS you, and still sticks around.

Marriages are funny things. They're like a birth. There is a new creature coming out of the marriage. It's exactly like Jesus and his church. He eagerly awaits, as much as we do, the oneness that will come from reuniting.

Why do I want to get married someday? Sex? Well, yes, but thats only a piece. Lonliness? Of course, but I know that relying on one person too much is a bad idea.

1) I want to be known. I want to share life with someone, with one particular person, in such a way that no one else in my life can compare with.

2) I want to have a partner, someone to love and support me when I need her, and someone for me to pour myself into because she needs me.

3) I want to show a lost and dying world the kind of unconditional love that our God has for every single person on this earth. Its inconcievable to have it for just one person, and God loves everyone.

Aubrey, Curtis, You're about to embark on a grand adventure. it's going to be hard at times, but the thing to remember is why you started the adventure to begin with....

...So you could do it together! :)

I felt poetic today

There is this guy I know,
With pure and raw talent,
He could change the world,
With his arms behind his back.

The trouble with it all,
Is that he knows its true,
And so he leaves them tied,
And closes his eyes too.

He wants to change the world,
To make the people see,
But he doesn't want to work,
To set his own arms free.

If only he would learn,
To first go free himself,
before he tries and fails
to offer others help...

Missing you

I'm back at home with my family, and it's good. I miss my brother, he's at his senior prom right now, but it's good to be with the rest of the family. I'll see him tomorrow.

Grandpa and Nacho were the ones I missed the most. Nacho is just cute and fun (thought not as cool as Jessie). My Grandpa however, has such a wonderful sense of humor. I've missed his clean, uplifting, and even encouraging humor. the worst he gets is calling me a "punky kid". I've really missed you G-pa...

Aviators

This morning, I was driving back from Neosho. Instead of enjoying the summer air and warmth, I was crying. Me and God were having a very emotional Conversation. That conversation is not what this post is about however. This post is about what happened when I got off the Highway.

I pulled up to the stoplight and immediatlly became aware that I looked like i was crying (cuz I was). I didn't want people(whom I didn't know) to see me cry (which they coouldn't from outside the car anyway). I then realized I was "safe". I had my aviators on. They covered my eyes so completly that I had no chance of being discovered.

We do this all the time don't we? We have an irrational fear of people hating the stuff deep inside us, the real us, that we put up our aviators, smile through the tears, and say everything's fine. But it's not. We need to take off our sunglasses and be more open and honest with our Christian brothers and sisters.

Holy

Holy is such an overused and misunderstood word.

Holy
–adjective
1.specially recognized as or declared sacred by religious use or authority; consecrated: holy ground.
2.dedicated or devoted to the service of God, the church, or religion: a holy man.
3.saintly; godly; pious; devout: a holy life.
4.having a spiritually pure quality: a holy love.
5.entitled to worship or veneration as or as if sacred: a holy relic.
6.religious: holy rites.
7.inspiring fear, awe, or grave distress: The director, when angry, is a holy terror.
–noun
8.a place of worship; sacred place; sanctuary.

The closest is #4.

Holy is separate. Pure. Godly. Well, God.

God is holy, Holy is God.

Therefore, be holy as I am Holy.

Maybe we need to stop asking "when am I sinning?" and start asking "How can I be holy?".

Broken Hearts

Yesterday i was having a really good day. Lots of good things were happening for me, and all said life was really good. But for 20 minutes, that didn't matter.

First I saw a girl(Girl L) who had recieved a broken heart from a boy (Boy C), and was now with another boy. I then saw that boy with another girl(Girl B), who had recently had her heart broken as well(Boy D). In the same room, was another girl(Girl A) whose heart was broken by Boy C, but was now with another boy(Boy T) and very happy. I then saw Boy D, who appeared to be having a bad day. And as I entered my Dorm, I saw my Dorm Mom cleaning stuff out of thier apartment, and down the stairs was Dad Cleaning out his office.

So much pain. So much Separation. It reminds me of one of my very first posts...

It was about Death.

Death is a separation...of body and soul.

Separation of people, feels like death. I've felt separation. I've felt that longing. I've felt that hoplessness that comes with not knowing where to go or who to turn too.

I went to my room and prayed for those people, through tears...

Romance

What does Romance Mean?

Ask a typical male and you probablly get a half-baked response involving flowers and candlight dinners.

Dictionary.com says:

Romance
–noun
1. a novel or other prose narrative depicting heroic or marvelous deeds, pageantry, romantic exploits, etc., usually in a historical or imaginary setting.
2. the colorful world, life, or conditions depicted in such tales.
3. a medieval narrative, originally one in verse and in some Romance dialect, treating of heroic, fantastic, or supernatural events, often in the form of allegory.
4. a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention.
5. a romantic spirit, sentiment, emotion, or desire.
6. romantic character or quality.
7. a romantic affair or experience; a love affair.

I have another definition to submit. Romance is proving you know someone so well, that you can do things that make them happy without being asked too. Notice, it's not just an inttelectual knowing of someone, but also action with this knowledge in order to make them happy.

Any comments?

it is...

its a beautiful day today. i wish terriblly that i didn't have to spend all day indoors! For Freedom! For Outside!

Wild at Heart

I finished the book "Wild at Heart", and I'm left wondering, How do I make it happen?

control

Its been on my mind...

http://cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/PERSONAL/k/230/Fruit-Spirit-Self-Control.htm

...The other's Gold

I spent the weekend with an old friend. He had been dearly missed, and he helped me to regain focus and balance. My time spent with him helped too give me a clearer picture of how to better interact with my closest friend and my Heavenly Father. It was an excellent time of refocusing for myself, and a time of encouragement for him. I hope I keep my promise to stay in closer contact with him so i can be of further encouragement and growth for him.

My eyes are dry

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to you and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it upWith oil and wine
The oil is you, your spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of your blood

***

I'm so tired of "serving God" in a impassionate way. I'm tired of just floating instead of Actively seeking to live a holy life. I'm apologizing to anyone i may have hurt or given a poor example too. I'm restarting this, I am Hungering and thirsting after righteousness.

Discouraged

There have been times at my church that I've wondered why I'm still there. I want to blame the pastor, the students, the whole congregation. Even here at school, I've felt discouraged. I've considered leaving so i can find something more beneficial to me, something that helps me grow.

And then on Sunday, I shared with my entire church my passion for working with students. All of a sudden all my discouragement and tiredness began melting away.

We need to talk about our passions, our loves, our callings. If we don't, our passions will dry up.

Encouragement

Encouragement is such a funny word. It is such a necessary word. We as Christian brothers and sisters need to encourage one another.

But what about when your encouragement is taken as criticism, not because of your words, or tone, but because of their lack of confidence in themselves?

What do you do for the person in that situation? What can you say to encourage them and to let them know you care and are building them up, not secretly taking a stab at something about them?

maturity

All this talk about accellerated maturity here at ozark, and yet, I don't see alot of it. Our conversations are ''less than spiritual'', and in the dorms :and sometimes outside them: we cuss as we discuss sex, drinking, and other ''forbidden things''.