Reality Check

I had a big dose of reality hit me today. WAY too much at once. All at once, I realized the vast scope of being a youth minister, of being a OCC student, of even being more than a "mediocre" Christian! I wanted to quit. In that moment, I would have dropped everything if asked.

I look at other Youth Ministers, people i've looked up too, people who have been my mentors...are now my peers! I'm not ready for this! I'm not ready to serve in this capacity! I have 2 high school boys in my room right now, reaching for someone, anyone, to show them Jesus. And I keep telling myself "It's not me", "I'm not ready".

I talk about being passionate, about putting God first, about sacrificing myself and my desires. Turns out, that actully involves losing things I like, it involves giving up certain Freedoms. SURPRISE!