Grrr...

I've been thinking alot about that internship up at the church. I've considered not taking it because I don't want to do it unless i can put my all into it. But work is my priority right now, so i'm putting my all into that. Is there enough of me to do both? By golly there better be.

If I can't bring myself to do just a little extra at church on the grounds of little sleep, then maybe i should rethink my calling. Youth ministry is a sleepless job. What about when susie gets calls at 1am cuz she's at a party that she shouldn't be at, and needs a ride home? What about when Matt decides that his life isn't worth anything anymore? What about when the Highway patrol calls you in the middle of the night to come identify the body of a college student.

Youth ministry is rough. It takes commitment. It takes drive. It take motivation. And me? well, i'm not exactly known for having any of those qualities. And yet, i know i'm called to ministry. Seems like God messed up eh? but, God is perfect...

Dang it...Since it's not God, it must be me...

I've decided to take the internship. God thinks that i'm capable of doing this, so I Know I am. I simply need to Buck up and take it. I'm tired of being the whiner. I'm going to do this, and i'm going to stay focused on the reason for it as well...

"All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of every nation, baptizing them in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit, and teach them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age."

Matt. 28:18-20