Back to square one?

Have I truly answered my calling? "Here am I, Send Me Father." Did I say that? Do i understand the gravity of my position and have commited my all to God?

Or did i simply tell God "what he wanted to hear" to get him off my back? agree to ministry simply So God would stop bugging me? Was it all an act? a Facade?

Dishonesty is like a cancer. It eats away at relationships...at trust...but does so subtly. From inside. You never know there's a problem till it too late.

It is a Sad man who cannot trust himself. I don't know if i'm lying to myself or not because quite frankly, I don't remember.

Father?

...

...Help...