Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing the line with God you know? I'll sin, ask for forgiveness, promise repentance, and then do it again tomorrow. I've done this so many times. I have sins that come and go, but there are two sins in particular I've struggled with since I was 11; Lying and Lust. I'm constantly promising God I'll change, but even that seems to be an expressions of my sin by lying to God.
Today I was reading Hosea (I'm really bored, what can I say?). the entire book, God (Through Hosea) is bashing the Israelites, telling them how pagan they are, how Assyria is going to wipe them out, how some will flee to Egypt. It talks about their children being dashed on the rocks, and their pregnant women being split open. It's some pretty gruesome stuff. Then you get to chapter 10.
The chapter title is "God's love for Israel". He talks for 7 verses about all the things he did for Israel in the desert, and how they constantly rebelled against him. At this point I'm thinking I've got some "wrath of God" headed my way. Then God says in verses 8-9:
8"How can I give you up Ephraim? How can I hand you over Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. 9I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim. For I am God, and not Man – The Holy one among you. I will not come in Wrath. (emphasis added)
Wow. Even though God wants to annihilate the Israelites, he doesn't because he loves them so much. Granted, God still punishes them as history shows. The Assyrians come in and totally dominate. Then the Greeks. Then the Romans. Then Jesus.
I think I know why God puts up with me. Its all there in verse 9. "For I Am God, and not man". God is capable of so much more than we can even fathom. His love for me knows NO bounds! And when I think that my sin is too much for God to forgive, I'm back to square 1: forcing God into this tiny box known as my imagination. That's much too prideful.
My brother came in here awhile ago. Sometimes he'll say the same thing over and over again to hack me off. For whatever reason, he was saying "Jesus loves you" over and over. I didn't get mad. In fact, I almost cried.
2 comments:
I know that very same feeling that we are abusing God...I just wish I didn't feel so numb and felt more fear towards God.
Ooo! I didn't know that I could leave comments without having a blog through this site! Cool. Anyway, I really like that little piece of Scripture! I love how we are all growing while we are apart. I am really enjoying having this much time free to think again. This is the kind of stuff I use to write about all the time... at school though it's like there's a weird shift. Anyway, keep it up Patty-Cakes. I like to read what you are learning about.
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