Is Solomon right? Is everything Meaningless? The futility of Life is a hard thing to grasp, but it's made itself know to me since I left the dorms.
At college, everything is happening so fast, and slow moments are quickly filled with friends or dorm mates. But here, back at home, Life is so slow. Today was the first day I got up and accomplished something since I left Ozark. I went to the dentist, ate lunch with my Grandpa, and helped my brother learn fractions. But honestly, how much of a difference did I make? Did I change anything in eternity? Maybe.
The Dental Hygienist and I talked a lot about Ozark and Jesus and the Church. She had gone to church in the past, but felt hurt by the hypocrisy and the grind of following these rules. I talked with her a lot about walking the Christian walk. She seemed to have changed her mind a little regarding the Christian Faith. Maybe we'll see her in heaven.
And yet, I've done more to affect eternity for the good, than I think I have in at least a month. Sure, I've done homework, changed the oil in my car, paid bills, etc, but in the long run, has it changed anything? What about the times I've gone to Wal-mart or Ihop with my friends, wearing an Ozark hoodie or Christian T-shirt, and goofed off. Have I made an impression on people of what Christians look like? Is "their blood on my hands" as Jesus said?
The worst part is, either way, those days are gone. I cannot go back to the useless, empty days and make them better. I cannot go back to those days I goofed off and shape up. I can't even do anything to those people as amends, because I don't know them! What then can I do?
Change. Next time I go to Wal-mart, be aware of people watching me. It's not about goofing off being bad, but there is a point it becomes so.
Somehow, this reminds me of my Death post. Life is this way, nothing will change that. But I can change how I look at it, and respond to it. And if I can do that, then maybe somebody will come to me in heaven, and say thanks.
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