it is...

its a beautiful day today. i wish terriblly that i didn't have to spend all day indoors! For Freedom! For Outside!

Wild at Heart

I finished the book "Wild at Heart", and I'm left wondering, How do I make it happen?

control

Its been on my mind...

http://cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/PERSONAL/k/230/Fruit-Spirit-Self-Control.htm

...The other's Gold

I spent the weekend with an old friend. He had been dearly missed, and he helped me to regain focus and balance. My time spent with him helped too give me a clearer picture of how to better interact with my closest friend and my Heavenly Father. It was an excellent time of refocusing for myself, and a time of encouragement for him. I hope I keep my promise to stay in closer contact with him so i can be of further encouragement and growth for him.

My eyes are dry

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to you and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it upWith oil and wine
The oil is you, your spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of your blood

***

I'm so tired of "serving God" in a impassionate way. I'm tired of just floating instead of Actively seeking to live a holy life. I'm apologizing to anyone i may have hurt or given a poor example too. I'm restarting this, I am Hungering and thirsting after righteousness.

Discouraged

There have been times at my church that I've wondered why I'm still there. I want to blame the pastor, the students, the whole congregation. Even here at school, I've felt discouraged. I've considered leaving so i can find something more beneficial to me, something that helps me grow.

And then on Sunday, I shared with my entire church my passion for working with students. All of a sudden all my discouragement and tiredness began melting away.

We need to talk about our passions, our loves, our callings. If we don't, our passions will dry up.

Encouragement

Encouragement is such a funny word. It is such a necessary word. We as Christian brothers and sisters need to encourage one another.

But what about when your encouragement is taken as criticism, not because of your words, or tone, but because of their lack of confidence in themselves?

What do you do for the person in that situation? What can you say to encourage them and to let them know you care and are building them up, not secretly taking a stab at something about them?

maturity

All this talk about accellerated maturity here at ozark, and yet, I don't see alot of it. Our conversations are ''less than spiritual'', and in the dorms :and sometimes outside them: we cuss as we discuss sex, drinking, and other ''forbidden things''.

Worship

It's kinda funny. All day i've been meaning to post on my blog about how bad the worship team was on wednesday night at church and how we botched my 2nd favorite worship song (Hosanna), and yet, now i'm here and, it doesn't matter. The students were worshipping. I had an encounter with God myslef later that night. Heaven forbid we have a spiritual experiance originating somwhere besides a hillsong song. The Lord will be praised. regardless of whether we are the ones doing or the rocks on the ground in our place, the Lord WILL be praised.

Who you Are ~Unknown

At the foot of the cross
I stare in Amazement.
My hands they reach up
I know that your real.
As my sin comes in contact
with your perfect nature
I'm changed, I'm cleansed,
and I'm healed

I am Changed by your love
I'm am Cleansed with your blood
I am healed just to know who you are...
Who you are...

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
~Eph. 2:4-10

I've missed having cats at college...

The slow moments at QuikTrip

Today I went back to work at QT. I got to work with my old manager and, surprisingly, with an old friend. I got to re-enter the world of retail, a world of corporate structure, of policies and procedures and standards. It was somewhat refreshing to once again be surrounded by structure that I was not responsible for. And yet, since my store was located in North Tulsa, I saw up close the reason I went to school in the first place.

I saw Emma, who stole some money from her parents(before they could buy drugs) and came to buy food for herself and her brother.

I saw a young girl come in and buy condoms so she could express her love to her boyfriend...little did she know what was in store.

I saw a young man come in and try very hard to be gangster. I could have done better. This young man was black. But that is his culture, and he was trying so hard to just fit in.

These people are who God has called me too. He won't let me escape them. I found them first in dallas. Then in Tulsa. Then in Mexico, and even in Joplin Missouri! The young ones, with so much future, so much life, so much potential. The ones who are broken, and helpless. When I see them, and think about them, I understand Chris DeWelt's passion for missions. The plight of Inner city youth brings tears to my eyes.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
~James 1:27

Lets do it, Lets Fall in Love

Love is a profound mystery. It keeps you awake at nights and makes you daydream throughout the days. And the whole world becomes beautiful when you find that someone special to fall in love with. But it is easy to fall in love and difficult to keep it alive through the course of a relationship.

********

When the little bluebird
Who has never said a word
Starts to sing Spring
When the little bluebell
At the bottom of the dell
Starts to ring
Ding dong Ding dong
When the little blue clerk
In the middle of his work
Starts a tune to the moon up above
It is nature that is all
Simply telling us to fall in love

And that's why birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

Cold Cape Cod clams, 'gainst their wish, do it
Even lazy jellyfish do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

I've heard that lizards and frogs do it
Layin' on a rock
They say that roosters do it
With a doodle and cock

Some Argentines, without means do it
I hear even Boston beans do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

When the little bluebird
Who has never said a word starts to sing
Spring spring spring
When the little bluebell
At the bottom of the dell
Starts to ring
Ding ding ding
When the little blue clerk
In the middle of his work
Starts a tune
The most refined lady bugs do it
When a gentleman calls
Moths in your rugs they do it
What's the use of moth balls
The chimpanzees in the zoos do it,
Some courageous kangaroos do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it
Maybe even you and I might do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

needless

All my stressing, All my Worrying, was absolutely needless.

The retreat was great.

Today

Its here. Today is the day. Is all of my planning coming to fruition? is all of my hard work going to pay off? Am I going to be satisfied?

But wait, why did I even plan this retreat in the first place? To serve God. To spread the Good News of his Son.

So the better question is, Will I give the credit to God? Will I step off of my Pedestool and let God rule like he does anyway?