Still Bursting?

its been coming up alot lately. like ALOT during tha past 2 weeks. Turns out, i'm pretty talented when it comes to music. i can hear where notes should or shouldn't be, and can carry on conversations about music theory, I just have differnt names for the same things. i've known that. but every has been reminding me incesantly of it recently.I wonder if it's god telling me to go into music. Now, i'm just wondering. I have no plans to change majors yet, and i DEFINATLY have no plans of changing schools. But i'm prayerfully waiting for more answers...

Bursting

I Communicate through music. I want to write a Song. I don't know what I want to communicate, but i feel there is something inside that if it doesn't get to my guitar, i'll explode!

Judgementalness

Romans 2:1

You therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.

Are there things that bug you? I know there are. Everyone has things that just bug the heck out of them. You can't stand when u see someone do it. Maybe it just rubs you the wong way, or maybe it's actully wrong, but either way, you hate it! You know why you hate it so much? Probobly because you do it.

Look at the things you are constantly after other people for, or things that you hate with a passion. For me, it's lust. If i had my way, i'd punch every guy in the face who ever looked at a girl with lust in his eyes. but if I had my way, i'd be punching myself in the face every day.

As christians, we are to hold our brother's and sister's accountable. but we are not to judge them. the next time you are about to pass judgement on somebody, check yourself to make sure you aren't guilty of the same thing!

Spider-man

Spider-man.

An awe inspiring super-hero to many a teenager (and older "kids" as well). Most people are familer with his daring exploits to save New York and Even Mary Jane, the girl of his dreams. But sometimes, we forget the struggles he goes through. Watching the first few minutes of Spider-man 1, I find Peter Parker is quite a loser. He is picked on, rejected, and utterlly despised by his classmates. the only reason Mary Jane even looks at him is because they are neighbors and she feels sorry for him.

Even after his transformation, Peter Parker is still hated. Most people, thanks to the Daily Bugle, Think Spidey is a Super Villian! Even though he risks his life every day to save the city, they Hate him!

Many people, especially those in high school and jr. high feel rejected. Because of the need "to be cool" or at least accepted, people are emotionally and even physically abused. I see it among my own friends.

The other day, I was going to have several of my friends come over. I was ecstatic and spent several hours preparing the game. Game time arrived and no one showed up. 3 people came late, only to inform me they were going to broken arrow for something else, they couldn't stay. A couple other people had other plans come up because of circumstances beyond they're control. and One guy just told me he didn't want to get out of bed. Had it not been for my Good friend Aaron who came over and stayed, I would have spent yet another lonely saturday with myself.

Jesus knows what that's like though. In the Garden, He was a "little stressed out" to say the least. He asked his close friends to stay up and pray with him. they were like, "yeah, Jesus, we'll pray with you." 5 minutes later, they're sawing logs. they did this several times.Then Jesus is betrayed by Judas, one of his 12 best friends. then all 12 abandon him, and Jesus gets to spend the roughest night of his life...

alone

We need to show the Love of Christ to others. We CAN'T let them fall into that lonliness. they need to have Jesus to hang onto.

Deftones

I watched you change
Into a fly
I looked away
You were on fire
I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change

I took you home
Set you on the glassI
pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never had wings

...ahh-ah-aaah

I look at the cross
Then I look away
Give you the gun
Blow me away

I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change
And you feel alive
You feel alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never had wings

...ahh-ah-aaah

You change...

I'm over...

Romans 12:1-2

I urge you my brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed my the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is: His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

I've had this verse memorized since i was 7 or 8. and only now do i finally understand it.

I have no idea what i'm doing this fall. OCC is still a potential. I'm also applying at MCC, DCC, even CCCB (yes grant). QT called today. They wanted to promote me. I told them about my internship stuff. They will call me back after my mexico trip if there is another opening for a Night Assistant position.

I don't know what God wants me to do. I feel as i have no way to dicern it because I'm torn between what is "right" and what I want, and yet, in some ways i don't know the differnce.

I wish life was like comic books. the bad is bad, the Good is Good, and there's hardly any gray.

whoa...

Camp was amazing. God moved.

And i learned alot more than I taught. And i taught quite a bit.

If you want to know more, let me know, and i'll send you more details.

I left the 99 to find the 1

Camp is in an hour. I'm excited like i can't believe. I get a chance to be that CIT that i looked up too. Camp changed my life, multiple times. I want God to use me to do that for someone else.

My mind wanders again to my leaving OCC. Did God need me here? to save one life? Jesus told a story about leaving 99 sheep to find the 1 lost sheep. Is that where i'm going? to find that one lost sheep and bring him home?

I'm so willing to be used. My prayer now is that I see my oppurtunities when(not if) they are given. Father give me your eyes and arms this next week, so i can affect someone, if not everyone.