Sunday, November 16, 2008

Learn

Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
~Proverbs 9:8-10

I sometimes wonder if i am capable of learning anything.

I constantly struggle with my self-esteem. My Youth Group seems just fine without me, the pastor wants me to preach, and responsibilties pile up! How can I do all this?

People hurt me. Repeatidly. A friend of mine has done this to me multiple times now. And I take it and walk on. I keep forgiving her. That's all well and good, but am I naive? Do I need to "act" more hurt? Or am I "doing it right"?

All this goes through my head a few days after I Blog on value. Today in my sunday school (that I teach) I taught about doctrines found in Genesis. One of them is the Idea of God making us in his image. Imago Dei. Value.

Jesus, i'm always asking for your help. Why is it so hard to just LET you help?

Friday, November 14, 2008

And WHEN you pray...

Thanks for giving us the benifit of the doubt Jesus!

I'm always telling people i'm praying for them. For some of them, I am. But for most of them, i'm not. I understand my prayer is not nessecary for God to be "informed" of thier problems, but I still need to do it. So I got this Idea from Chris DeWelt.

Somebody asks me for prayer? Pray for them. Right there.

This helps with memory as it gives an experiance to hold onto.(ironic from yesterday's blog) It is powerful to the other person. How much difference would it make from somebody saying they'll pray for you as compared to somebody who drops what thier doing and prays with you right there? Pray on the phone, in person, through email, letters, even FACEBOOK!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Rememberance

On tuesday, i was thinking about stuff in chapel that I wasted to blog about(which i did). I didn't want to forget about it, and so following suit of a dear friend of mine, I wrote a Keyword on my arm so i would remember. I just looked at my Arm, and its gone. That not especially surprising since i've showered twice since then (soon to be three). However, it got me thinkin.

Do you remember what you had for lunch a week ago today? Yes, you could prolly figure it out, but do u remember? Off the top of your head? What about that talk with your best friend you had 2 weeks ago? do you remember what it was about? Probobly. Do you remember every word? Probobly Not.

I am amazed at the ability of the Human Mind to intake information, sift through what is important, and discard the rest. I am also amazed with people who have trained thier minds to discern other things as important. What do you think is important?

What things do you remember? Can you call to mind the faces of your friends? Sometimes, I can't. Can you hear a friend's laughter in your mind? I can recreate any one of my friend's laughs in my imagination. But after about a week, I forget what my friends look like. I can still recognize them in person or in a photo, but i can't just summon thier face to mind.

The Human Psyche is intricate indeed...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Valuble

Forgiveness...

It's such a strong word. This isn't the word for the simple hurts and pains that your friends and family do to you. This is the word for when the option is revenge. Making them Hurt. Taking from them what they took from you. Showing them that you can assert yourself as a person and show that your not down and out just because they harmed you.

Forgivness is hard. It involves denying your own interests in view of the others. Forgivness is never easy. Forgivness is when you want every second to make that person hurt, or at least know how much you hurt, but instead you don't. You told them at one point that it hurt, and you told them you forgive them. So you put on the smile, act like its all alright, and live life. And eventually, it is alright. The bitterness fades, the anger subsides, and your friendship is restored.

(disclaimer: The above is not aimed at anyone in particular. I would defeat my own point if it was.)

I don't think Jesus Forgave us...

Let me explain. Looking at my above description of Forgivness, I don't think thats what God did. Yes, he did do all of the above, but his anger was great. his wrath was great. He couldn't hold that in like nothing happened. He couldn't change his character to associate with us and our sin. So instead of Forgiving us, he Redeemed us. He gave a piece of himself, and obliterated it on the cross. He was mutilated physically, Abandoned Spiritally, and broken emotionally. The entire man of Jesus was Abused and Beaten...

For you...

Don't you dare complain about your inadaquacies. Don't you dare say your not good enough. God made you, and he made you with a purpose. Yes you are fallen. Yes, you will make mistakes. But Christ took every one of your sins to hell with him when he died, locked them away, then rose again 3 days later to tell you about it. You are not doomed to repeat your mistakes. You are Free from sin by the Blood of Christ.

You are made valuble. Not because you are, but because the Lord of All thinks you are valuble. Guess what?

His opinion is the only one that counts....

Sunday, November 9, 2008

ripples

life really is a pond...

Even if you think your life is insignificant, everything you do makes ripples...

Everything

Friday, November 7, 2008

Reality Check

I had a big dose of reality hit me today. WAY too much at once. All at once, I realized the vast scope of being a youth minister, of being a OCC student, of even being more than a "mediocre" Christian! I wanted to quit. In that moment, I would have dropped everything if asked.

I look at other Youth Ministers, people i've looked up too, people who have been my mentors...are now my peers! I'm not ready for this! I'm not ready to serve in this capacity! I have 2 high school boys in my room right now, reaching for someone, anyone, to show them Jesus. And I keep telling myself "It's not me", "I'm not ready".

I talk about being passionate, about putting God first, about sacrificing myself and my desires. Turns out, that actully involves losing things I like, it involves giving up certain Freedoms. SURPRISE!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

My Future Decided

You hold the future in your hands
You know my dreams and you have a plan
And as you light my way, I'll follow you

My eyes on all of the above
My soul secure in all you've done
My minds made up
And you are the only one for me

Jesus, savior, in my life you are everything
My future decided, I will praise your name
And I know that I am, I am yours
Yeah, I know that I am, I am yours

You hold the earth in your command
You are the rock on which I stand
And as I live each day, I'll follow you

My eyes on all of the above
My soul secure in all you've done
My minds made up
And you are the only one for me

Jesus, savior, in my life you are everything
My future decided, I will praise your name
And I know that I am, I am yours
Yeah, I know that I am, I am yours

Aren't afraid, aren't ashamed Lord we know who we are
We are your people and we won't be silent
Unified hear us cry at the top of our lungs
You our God and we will not be shaken

Aren't afraid, aren't ashamed Lord we know who we are
We are your people and we won't be silent
Unified hear us cry at the top of our lungs
You our God and we will not be shaken

Jesus, savior, in my life you are everything
My future decided, I will praise your name
And I know that I am, I am yours
Yeah, I know that I am, I am yours

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Verses for the day...

I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me.
~Psalm 28:8, 15

You are my hiding-place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
~Psalm 32:7

I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.
~Psalm 38:15

Monday, November 3, 2008

Fluidity

Life is ever-changing. One day your involved in normal life, the next your struck by a debilitating disease. One minute your participating in class, the next you wake up from passing out in that class. One second, your laughing and carrying on with your friends, the next you find out that the 2 most important people in your life are probobly going to die. A morning, a phone call, a moment, and life is forever changed. It brings a new perspective to everything. What would you do if any given person around you died tonight. What would you do?

Someone told me today they didn't know how much evil was in the world till they came to bible college. Isn't that wierd, since we share our pains, our fears, our burdens? We share life with each other. We Love one another. On secular campuses, they have a "mind your own business" additude, but here, we are a community. We have found that there are benifits to sharing our burdens that are not only desirable...

...They are Nessesary.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Supposed too

I was listening to the Song Hosanna the other day, and suddenly became curious as to what it actually meant. While I didn't search any in-depth sources(i.e. i stuck to Wikipedia and Websters), The only definition i could find was "an Exclamation of Praise, adoration, and thankfulness". Cool. But did I mean that every time i sang it? surely not. I said it because it's a part of the song. I'm supposed to say it.

But why do I call God a King? Lord? Savior? Because I'm supposed too?

Why do I greet people? Am I truly happy to see them? Why do I Thank people? Am I truly thankful for their gift?

Why do I tell My girlfriend, or my parents that I love them? Do I truly? Or am I just Supposed too?

I call God a King, Not because I am Supposed to, But because I make him the King of my life everyday. I call him Savior because he pulled me from the fiery pits of hell.

Words are important. Small actions can convey deep feelings. The lack of the same can hide those very feelings. I claim to Love God's word, but I also try to apply to my everyday life. imagine if I said I loved it, but never opened it up or changed my Behavior because of it. I would be a liar.

James said, Faith without Works is Dead. I would argue that love without actions is not truly love, but manipulation. That is not Love. That is hate.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

High stakes

I make an appointment with someone, with you perhaps, for sometime in any of your tomorrows, and all the future tomorrows that follow your yesterdays.

I reach out into a future that neither one of us can see, and i plan a meeting with you, and ask you to trust me to be there with you.

I stretch myself into unpredictable days ahead and make one thing predictable for you: I will be there with you.

I create a small Island of certainty in the swirling waters of our uncertainties; the certainity of my presence with you.

I make space in my life for you that you know will be there waiting for you, even if every other place is crowded.

These are some of the things I do when I make a commintment to another Human Being.

How strange it is when you think about it, that a mere human being can take hold of the future and fasten one part of it down for another person.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Devastation and Reform

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm getting this love thing. I'm not talking about my relationship with Jessie(even though I am). I don't love people. I act like I do, and yet something inside me is constantly fighting to get out. It's the part that hates other people. Makes me Jealous, Makes me Angry, Makes me a bad friend.

Thankyou God for me the Insight
So I might make these wrongs right
If and when there ever is a next time
Cuz failure is a blessing in disguise.

Pull my heart out, Reconstruct
In the end it's nothing but
A shell of what I had when first started.

You've given me everything I need to succeed. I have a desire to serve you. I hate screwing up. I want to do my best for you...and I want to feed my ego. I need to come to realize(like I did this spring) that when I screw up it's a chance to learn. To serve you in a better, fuller capacity.

Thy Brother's Blood Crieth

This is a poem about the reality of hell. If you don't want to be moved, don't read this.

By Amy Carmichael

The tom-toms thumped straight on all night, and the darkness shuddered round me like a living, feeling thing. I could not go to sleep, so I lay awake and looked; and I saw, as it seemed, this:

That I stood on a grassy patch, and at my feet a ravine broke straight down into infinite space. I looked, but saw no bottom; only cloud shapes, black and furiously coiled, and great shadow-shrouded hollows, and unfathomable depths. Back I drew, dizzy at the depth.

Then I saw forms of people moving toward the edge. There was a woman with a baby in her arms and another little child holding on to her dress. She was on the very edge. She lifted her foot for the next step... Then, to my horror, I saw that she was blind. Before I could say anything she was over, and the children with her. Their cries pierced the air as they fell into the inky blackness of the ravine!

Then I saw more streams of people flowing from all quarters. All were blind, stone blind; all walked straight toward the edge. There were shrieks as they suddenly knew themselves falling, and a tossing up of helpless arms, catching, clutching at empty air. But some went over quietly, and fell without a sound.

Then I wondered, with a wonder that was sheer agony, why no one stopped them at the edge. I could not. I was glued to the ground, and I couldn't even yell; though I strained and tried, only a whisper would come out.

Then I saw that along the edge there were sentries set at intervals.

But the intervals were too large; there were wide, unguarded gaps between. And over these gaps the people fell in their blindness, unwarned; and the green grass seemed blood-red to me, and the ravine yawned like the mouth of hell.

Then I saw, like a little picture of peace, a group of people under some trees with their backs turned towards the ravine. They were making daisy chains. Sometimes when a piercing shriek cut the quiet air and reached them, it disturbed them and they thought it was a rather crude noise. And if one of their group started up and wanted to go and do something to help, then all the others would pull that one down. "Why should you get so excited about it? You must wait for a definite call to go! You haven't finished your daisy chain yet. It would be really selfish," they said, "to leave us to finish the work alone."

There was another group. It was made up of people whose great desire was to get more sentries out; but they found that very few wanted to go, and sometimes there were no sentries for miles and miles along the edge.

Once a girl stood alone in her place, waving the people back; but her mother and other relations called, and reminded her that her furlough was due; she must not break the rules. And being tired and needing a change, she had to go and rest for awhile; but no one was sent to guard her gap, and over and over the people fell, like a waterfall of souls. Once a child grabbed at a tuft of grass that grew at the very edge of the ravine; it clung convulsively, and it called - but nobody seemed to hear. Then the roots of the grass gave way, and with a cry the child went over, its two little hands still holding tight to the torn-off bunch of grass. And the girl who longed to be back in her gap thought she heard the little one cry, and she sprang up and wanted to go; at which her friends reproved her, reminding her that no one is necessary anywhere; "The gap would be well taken care of!", they said. And then they sang a hymn.

Then through the hymn came another sound like the pain of a million broken hearts wrung out in one full drop, one sob. And a horror of great darkness was upon me, for I knew that it was "The Cry of the Blood".

Then a voice thundered. It was the voice of the Lord, and He said, "What hast thou done? The voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground."

The tom-toms still beat heavily, the darkness still shuddered and shivered about me; I heard the yells of the devil-dancers and weird, wild shrieks of the devil-possessed just outside the gate.
What does it matter, after all? It has gone on for years; it will go on for years. Why make such a fuss about it? God forgive us!

God arouse us! Shame us out of our callousness! Shame us out of our sin!

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
~1 John 3:17-18

Saturday, October 18, 2008

well...Meh!

you know, i have something i could write about, but i just don't want to.

It's not that's bad to share or anything, i simply don't want to write about it!

...So yeah, there's my being assertive for the day.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

To the Victor...

Yeah, that's right.

Today, I beat Jackie Scharfenburg(sp?) at ping pong.

I came back from a 15-20 deficit to a final score of 24-22.

And I ate a Klondike Bar.

Owned.