Worry

Stress.

The love-killer. The failure-maker. The...Scapegoat?

I think sometimes we give more credit to stress than we should. This past 2 weeks, i've been on a emotional roller coaster. I was in love, and was terriblly afraid the person I loved was going to force me to let go of her. But then, when i asked, she grabbed ahold of me, only waiting for me to ask her.

I've been trying to figure out how i'm going to pay for school. frankly, i still don't know.

The Ministry I applied for didn't work out, and now I want to Pour myself into Villa Heights to better its youth.

I have alot of Homework, though most is still a week away, and my ability to make good grades directly effects my future ability to pay for school. and of course, being in a brand new relationship, i want to spend time with Jessie, but i must budget my time wisely between her, my other friends, and of course, homework. When I look at it from my perspective, it seems like a precariously built tower, intricatly supporting itself while i try to move it. one false step here, or to much tension there, and the whole thing will collapse on itself.

But then I try to look at it from God's perspective. I think from his, it looks more like book. Even though the words convey tension, and every part is extremly dramatic; even though you don't know what will happen in the next chapter, or even the next page...the fact remains, it's already been written. The Ending is already laid out. God authored the story, gave me my place, designed me a certain way, giving me all the tools and abilities i'll ever need, and now we wait to see if i'm the same as his original character sketch.

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
~Mathew 6:31-33