Redo?

Is it normal to look back over your life and wish you could redo some things? not all of it, just maybe a year or 2. And not even everything but just the things you did wrong...terribly wrong. Oh how I wish I could change things, build habits that would've helped, made relationships that were important, and strengthened existing ones that are now broken down...

Ces't Le Vie'...

Weary

I'm Tired of a few things...

• I'm tired of getting hung up on by people I am trying to help. I sincerely want to help them, and it hurts a little when they don't even let me try.
• I'm tired of being judged unfairly. I make this one mistake and suddenly i'm at the bottom again. all of my "above and beyond" performance (your own words) is forgotten in the light of this one mistake I made!
• I'm tired of females. Do NOT hear me say I'm tried of Jessie. I adore her. but for more reasons than I care to explain I would love a "Male only" day or two.
• I'm tired of this concrete kingdom, of being surrounded by roads, cars, gas stations, buildings, radios, machinery, cell phones, and noise! I HATE that my work has trees imprisoned in its parking lot for "good looks". the trees look like their dying! I want to walk in a forest, listen to a brook, lay in the grass, watch the wind sweep across a field, watch the sunset from a mountain or hilltop.
• I'm tired of being surrounded by people obsessed with being sexual. they seem to make it a point to be hard on those of us who are not. Oh yeah, and they constantly remind that they are "recruiting". Virginity truly is a treasure, and it becomes more valuable every day, sometimes by the hour. I can't wait to give it to My wife one day to show her how important she is.
• I hate the corporate world. I'm so tired of feeling I'm worth less if I'm not at least moving towards the top. I JUST WANT TO START MY OWN BUSINESS!!! WHETHER I GET PROMOTED OR NOT IS NOT A MEASURE OF MY WORTH AS A PERSON!!! ITS NOT EVEN WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!

Phew...glad I got that out before my head exploded...

Why

Why? That is the question I ponder tonight...

Why did you pick me, out of all the options? Why didn't I read the warnings? Why did I creep forward? Why didn't I charge forward?

Why did I choose the friends I'm surrounded with? Why did I pick him? Why do I hang out with her? Why don't I scrutinize more?

Why did I follow my eye's curiosity all those years ago?

Why did I let you do this to your life? Why did I snatch away your freedom? Why does it seem like I'm killing your soul?

Why do I always blame things on other people? Why don't I take responsibility? Why don't I stand up for what I believe in? Why don't I stand up for a friend?

Why don't I let myself be Angry? Why do I stifle my Passion? Why don't I let myself Feel?

Why do I wish I could re-live the last 10 years of my life?