A thousand winters melting!

I think i'm finally here. The place i've longed to be all my life. Granted, it took the temperary loss of everything and everyone I hold dear, but I made it.

I love God.

For about 4 days now i've spent almost every free moment with God. I mostly blame this on jury duty, as I have alot of free moments, but now I actully look forward to today's duty. I will get to spend somewhere in the area of 6 hours in complete "hang out time" with God.

I've always struggled with talking to Go about what makes me tick, what i deeply desire, my dreams, fears, etc. I've always thought, "he knows em all anyway."

And yet, when I know something about my friend that they don't know I know, I enjoy hearing them tell me. When a Friend tells me they are afraid of life after this summer, even when i know already, I like that they tell me. I betcha God's the same way.

Please, spend time with God. Not cuz you have too, cuz you can. Do what you do with your friends. sometimes, you plan it out, "hey, lets watch a movie on Tuesday!" or sometimes it's on the spot plans. Whatever! Spend some of your free time with God. It actully helps to separate bible study and Worship. Granted, i'm not at Bible College right now, but I don't think i'll be as inclined to use the bible as a textbook.

Please. If your not here, do whatever you can to get to the point that you Love God. It's like somebody ripped away the grayscale, and color has returned to the world.

Paradoxiam?

I give my life to you so i can gain it back again.

Roughly the words of Paul. do we really understand this? do i?

i've always known the answer: If we live for God, we gain Eternal life through Him.

But do I? When i can look into the eyes of a man who strangled his wife, a man who watched as he killed the most precious person to him, and feel what Jesus must have felt...

I witnessed to a Murderer today. I shared God's love with him. And I had no qualms. No reservations. No fear.

I...Loved this man.

Opurtunity strikes again

I'm really good at looking back and seeing oppurtunities where i could have jumped in and served God. and yet, at the time, i'm blind as a bat. I've always asked God to help me see when he wants me to act.

Yet sometimes, i wonder if i should act on an oppurtunity i see or not. and honestly, i don't see as many in hindsight as i used too. I think God did his part, now it's my time to catch up. so why don't I share.

...

I think that If I really believed I could save somebody's life I wouldn't hesitate.

Busybody?

Am I nosy? i mean, i tend to be knee deep in drama, and yet, my friends live miles away, i'm not dating anyone, and drama seems far away. Do I go looking for it?

I wonder if by caring too much, i'm becoming involved in the drama of my friend's lives? But I also wonder if what I am knee deep in is "drama" in the typical sense, or if it's something that actully matters? I try to keep all my "major events", if u will, at a certain level of importance or higher, or else, i don't need to waste emotional energy on them. This strategy has served me well in avoiding stress as long as my perception of what is important is not warped.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 -- "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you..."

I think i'm going to go back to focusing on Work and summer school instead of other things...

Already there.

Look at the cards in your hand,
the ten through ace flush you have,
but you go ahead and fold.

you say you can't take the heat,
you say your feeling so beat,
why don't you take off your coat?

You tell me about struggles in your mind,
you tell me you feel like your just wasting time,
you tell me that you don't know which way to go,
but what if your already there?

Don't just assume you've got it wrong,
you might have been right all along,
a little patience will go far.

Just live today and do your best,
To forget about the rest,
He has put you where you are!

God Created you it's true,
and for this purpose he chose you.

You say your thirsty again,
you'll drink whatever you can,
but your standing in the rain.

You've never been cold before,
standing just out the door,
Come inside where it's warm.

You tell me about struggles in your mind,
you tell me you feel like your just wasting time,
you tell me that you don't know which way to go,
but what if your already there?

Don't just assume you've got it wrong,
you might have been right all along,
a little patience will go far.

Wait for the Lord to show the way,
Until then go on and stay,
in the spot that he placed you.

God Created you it's true,
and for this purpose he chose you.

constant Reminder to an ADD child

I'm so ADD...spiritually speaking that is...



I have to be constantly reminded of even the most simple things. It seems like God tell me the smae stuff every week.

Like every wensday, i don't wanna goto youth group...but then i get there, and i fall in love with the kids, with the church, with God, all over again. it's awesome.

parched in a pool?

My abilty to complain astounds me. i will stand and complain about anything, just to have people focused on me. half the time, i'm complaining about a problem that doesn't even exist.

I'll say, God needs to tell me where to go, cuz i'm not there. and yet, all around me are ministry oppurtunities that yearn for my skills to be used. it's like standing in a pool of water and saying i'm thirsty. well, by golly bend down and get a drink!

Dreams

I don't want to look back in a few years, and wish i had taken a risk, wish i had trusted God, wish i had followed when He Led.

I want to touch lives, i want to make people smile, i want to please God.

Alright God, i'm here. thanks for setting me straight.

...

UH-Gain!