Canyon Prayer

Time after time, I've turned away from you, When all I had to do was surrender to your love. You've seen me stumble, you've watched me fall, And though I heard you call, I just wasn't strong enough. But there's an emptiness inside without you in my life: Lord, I hope you hear my prayer tonight. Won't you blind my eyes when all I see is temptation. Break my stride when I'm runnin' from the truth. An' tie my hands when I reach out with desire. Go on an' do what you must do, Whatever you must take me through till I turn to you. Yeah. I know that others fall down on their knees for mercy, But you may have to hurt me before I see the light. 'Cause I've grown as far as I can go by myself: I need your help if I'm gonna get it right. Tired of strugglin' every day, I wanna know the way, So now the only prayer I wanna pray: Is just blind my eyes when all I see is temptation. Break my stride when I'm runnin' from the truth. An' tie my hands when I reach out with desire. Go on an' do what you must do, Whatever you must put me through till I turn to you. Yeah. Blind my eyes; Break my stride; Whatever you want to be denied; Whatever you must do. An' tie my hands; Ignore my demands; Build a wall that stands so high, I can't get through, Till I turn to you, yeah. Until I turn to you. 'Cause I wanna turn to you,

How Lovely is MY Dwelling place...

it's my last night at home. tomorrow i go back to the place i've missed so much. and in a week, i'll be joined by the people i've missed so much. but was it really the place? was it truly the people? or did i just want out of here?

I've always been the kind of guy to "get up and go". i've always done everything I can to get away from home, from my siblings, my parents... and yet, NOBODY knows me like they do. there is no one on earth who can read my thoughts, forsee my actions, criticize my habits.

No one else on earth can shatter my world in a single sentence. Like the day my mom told me my dreams were doomed to failure. it wasn't just that i was gonna be a poor minister, or make bad grades. no. complete failure. she forsaw a college drop-out with a wife that nobody liked but me, and no stable source of income. and i almost believed her.

No one else can make me feel on top of th world with a single gesture of faith. This incedant with my mom was one of many similer ones taking place early last year. both my parents told me i was going to be a failure as a minister. then christmas came. i got several fun presents, most of which i don't remember, but one is still with me. a cherished gift. i opened up a 3 inch thick study bible. i looked at my mom and dad in confusion. my mom just smiled. my dad calmly said, "If your gonna go to Ozark and be a minister, i thought you'd need a good study bible." I was never so proud of my parents.

somebody once told me that most people get closer to thier parents after they move out. well, i haven't completly moved out, but i'm alot closer to my parents then i was before i went to ozark. these past 3 weeks, i've been infuriated with my parents, but i've never loved them more. my brothers have been the biggest terds ever to me, coming with cool new ways to get me in trouble since i'm not around anymore. and yet, i've missed them. Even my sister.

My family has its weak points. but so does every family. Every band. Every Church. Every Workplace...

Every Person...

God is a genious. Using fallen, weak, dirty people...people like me, to put together marvelous things. Families...The Church...Couples...

Love is truly the most powerful force in the universe. and we serve love. Our God IS Love. How cool is that.